Damn it, I'm in a writing mode. Is this a manic phase, a high, or can this be existence? Damn the dark. I've been in the dark for too long, struggling, figuring shit out. And it's funny, but I think the way out the dark is really simple – RELAX. Recognize the triggers for the lows. And dominate them, and defeat them.
I just ran into Tyler Hamilton. Cyclists know him – Olympic Gold Medalist, World Champ, Tour de France racer and a guy who got into a hell of a lot of trouble for doping. You know what – as far as his doping goes – I don't know if he did it and I don't give a rats ass. Many have crucified the man from a far, yet have they walked a mile in his shoes? How can they truly understand? Tyler got raked over the coals for a mistake – if he even made a mistake – that many in the same situation would have made. He was publicly ostracized, ripped by arm chair fans and experts alike, had his marriage crumble under the public eye and made to look like a bad guy. He lost close friends who didn't want to be associated with him anymore because of what he did (or, heaven forbid, did not do).
I am of the opinion that mistakes don't define good or bad. We have all made mistakes. And we will all continue to make more. I'm more interested in the following:
– The look in someones eye when you shake their hand.
– What people are doing today, not yesterday, to better themselves and the world.
– Not the essence of the struggle itself, but how you recover and make YOUR path the right one.
Tyler came over to my table. We know each other a little bit. He told me about some of his struggles. I told him about some of mine. There was an unspoken understanding that life isn't always fair, or even if it is fair, it certainly isn't always easy. It was good. Kindred spirits. Tyler is a good man. I respect him. I respect him more now than I would have if he hadn't had to go through any of the shit. Tried, tested and set to come back strong.
The human spirit is indomitable. If we choose to, we get back up. And while it might not seem like it during the dark times…we're the lucky ones.
Time to climb another mountain tomorrow and touch the sky.