One year ago tonight I spent the night in captivity. I'm not ashamed of it, because it has helped define the man I am today. I was kicked at my absolute lowest point in my life. I'm glad it happened, for the simple reason that it cut ties from my old life completely. I ask myself if the situation had been reversed, would I have acted the same way. No. Absolutely not. I could not do that. And at that moment, the old world was gone.
The man I shared a room with told me, "you have to lose it all to know how sweet it is to win it all back again." These words have stuck with me every single day since. When I got out that night, after having not eaten for 48 hours, having been shackled, chained and literally spat on, I walked across town and breathed the fresh air, away from the stench of urine and vomit and captivity. I stumbled across town and realized that, more than anything, I wanted a Chai tea. I went to the Brewing Market, saw one of my former students, and told her the story. I had no money – they took it when I was checked in – and she made me the best chai I have ever had. I went outside, and was prepared to walk home, but the kindness of a friend saved me that walk home. We went to backcountry pizza and I felt human again.
I decided soon after that day that revenge only hurts the people who try to get revenge. The best way to live life, to prove everybody wrong, is to live life with a 100% passion. To be the best man possible. To be such a great husband that when people tell stories, the response is simply an incredulous stare. To be good to everybody. To work hard. To take care of myself. To follow the heart and prove the world wrong.
I'm glad for what happened a year ago. It cut ties completely and motivated me – for the rest of my life – to spend every second from that day forward to being the best human being alive.
Sorry to readers if this seems angry. Some wounds heal slower than others, and anniversary days are tough. Obviously, despite the cocky veneer of this post, it still hurts greatly. This blog is my outlet for that. If you don't like what I write, don't read it. If you have more questions or comment, just email me direct and I'll be happy to engage.
Alta Backcountry 